So where have I been???

Well, I finished the lay pastor class and in December was commissioned as a Methodist Lay Pastor. Classes were good and it was a great experience. And the mission stops there for now. I am praying and searching but not sure what the next move is.
I will tell you that "church" is still challenging and while I thought I was getting it, I am not. I feel over the last few months that I have let my spiritual efforts be about church and in doing so have lost my spiritual focus. It seems to be in the way, not showing the way. This is what I have always believed about church - it just kinda gets in the way. And while I have meet wonderful people I haven't found anything that has helped deepen my relationship with God. So I am still searching for what I have never seen but still hope exists... A church for me.

Twilight Moment

"When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end." So funny how in the middle of a spiritual journey you find inspiration in the most unlikely places. This quote propelled me to read a series of books that I had vowed not to read - the Twilight Series. It spoke right to me and so I had to read on for more spiritual insight. For the record no more spiritual insight but entertaining none the less.
I know the quote is about dying but it says more to me about living. My life has been filled with many great and wonderful events and people and I have had my share of not so great, deeply disappointing moments - failures, loss, and rejection. But as I look at them collectively I see how each and every bad thing led me right to where I am and who I am now. And the view from here is fine. So when life turns out to be far greater than your expectations, how do you grieve the losses and endings? All of those twists and turns make the sweet moments even better.